Seadragon Speaks (Special Edition): Recapping the Big Three of E3

Now that I’ve finally got done watching all three pressers from the big three companies, I think it’s high time to say how I feel about each one. Just remember that this is my opinion and you can differ from it, just don’t be an ass about it.

Microsoft

The Good:
-All three predictions came true. They had focus on Rise of the Tomb Raider, they had a playable demo of Halo 5 and, what was the biggest shocker from Microsoft, a brand new Gears of War game for 2016. Great work, guys.
-Cuphead might be the single most interesting game that is exclusive to the Xbox One. I am a HUGE fan of old school animation… I grew up with Looney Tunes, Tom and Jerry and the old Disney cartoons. To me, this has the potential to be a great game.
-Rare Replay is a wonderful collection. 30 games for $30… I bet most of you will buy it for Battletoads. Me? Well, I never did play Battletoads before (I know, I know… shame on me) but the inclusion of Killer Instinct Gold is the most interesting one since the original version (KI2, for those keeping track) was already part of the Season 2 Ultra Pack. What do I know?
-Backwards Compatibility might be a game changer. It’ll get more people on to the Xbox One because they won’t to sell their old games… but, it does come with a caveat from me: Look at what happened with the PS3 when that launched. People kept their PS2 games and didn’t buy PS3 games, so when it came time to introduce the newer model, they got rid of the PS2 based parts. Be careful, Microsoft.

The Bad:
-Can we please get a little more gameplay for Rise of the Tomb Raider? I mean, I liked what I saw, but it left me a bit unsatisfied.
-Sea of Thieves is a great idea, but you have to consider the recent track record for Rare and that’s not pretty at all. I want to see more of it, but I fear that Rare might be biting off more then they can chew here.
-Where was Crackdown? Dude, don’t leave me hanging here.

The Ugly:
-Can we please stop making shit like the Oculus Rift out to be the next big thing in gaming? To be honest, there is only one thing that and the HoloLens will be good for: Virtual Porn. That’s it. End of fucking story.
-OK… can anyone please explain to me how the fuck did they get a 2016 Ford GT up that high?
-Fable Legends… *yawn* NEXT!

Sony

The Good:
-The Last Guardian… I’ve been dying to see what happened and all I have to say is this…. It’s… it’s… IT’S SO DAMN BEAUTIFUL!!!
-Final Fantasy 7 Remake. I’m not the biggest FF fan out there. In fact, I’ve only played X and X-2… but, when the entry in the series that basically made RPGs and the Playstation itself a household name gets a remake, you take notice.
-Shenmue 3… What else can I say about this that hasn’t been said? It’s like the Holy Grail of gaming and somehow, someway Sony got a hold of it. The funny thing is that the Kickstarter used for Shenmue 3 has blown up. I wish there was a chance for the first two games to get an HD remaster, but since Sega holds the license there, it’s not happening. :(
-Dreams sounds so awesome… when can I play it?!?

The Bad:
-Street Fighter V doesn’t look too bad, and Cammy seems like a logical choice because she’s well liked… but Birdie? Where the hell did that choice come from? And dude, lay off the fish and chips. It doesn’t look good on you.
-No Man’s Sky looks nice, but I fear this game is way too damn ambitious for it’s own good… I like the idea of exploring worlds and finding new creatures and so forth, but you have to start wondering if the true ambition of this game may never be reached.
-It felt like the Vita had some love, but I wonder when Sony is going to pull the plug on it.

The Ugly:
-OK, guys… why do you need to have the exclusivity rights for Call of Duty Black Ops III? Microsoft was doing just fine with that.
-You know, for a company that is high on indie games, there weren’t that many. Yeah, you had the stuff from Revolver Digital, but that’s it. It’s odd that was the case here.
-I will say this now and let the hate come later: No. One. Gives. A. Flying. Donkey. Fuck. About. Project Morpheus! While I’m at it… FUCK STAR WARS! *Places flame shield in the very front*

Nintendo

The Good:
-The imagination used in the event itself is a welcome change. When you compare this to the pressers Microsoft and Sony had, watching Nintendo’s event is a breath of fresh air. Have to love Muppet versions of Iwata, Miyamoto and Reggie.
-Star Fox Zero looks good. I also enjoy the little developer story about the game… see, this is a great feature because they show you how Miyamoto’s thought process worked out.
-Super Mario Maker will be a fun game.. but I fear for two things: Kaizo stages and dicks everywhere.
-Yarn Yoshi is so cute! I just want to hug him and squeeze him and hug him some more and pet him and name him George… Oh, um… heh heh. Yoshi’s Wooly World has the same feel that Kirby’s Epic Yarn had. To me, that is a good thing.

The Bad:
-I didn’t know it was possible to do a Dynasty Warriors styled game on the 3DS, but they’re going to do it with Hyrule Warriors Legends… but, guys… where are the CD-i characters?
-Animal Crossing crap… *longer yawn* NEXT!!
-Amiibo crap… *even longer yawn* NEXT!!!

The Ugly:
-What the fuck did Activision do to you, DK and Bowser? You guys look like clowns now.
-Fire Emblem can go suck a rotting lemur’s nutsack.
-No mention of the Wii U open world Zelda game? I am disappoint.

So, in all… here are my grades.
Microsoft: B
Nintendo: B-
Sony: A

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@Guliel_Jabrien I don't get that one.
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