Saturday Sillies: Meet the Fighting (Game) Family

Part of the reason for Saturday Sillies is to have fun with what we love here and this is video games… more specifically, fighting games.

A good chunk of the people who work on this site (and that includes yours truly) are fans of the genre and it has me thinking: What if the genre was a family?

So imagine if you will… Two families living on the same block. One is the 2D family and the other is the 3D family. They get along for the most part and they like spend time together at barbecues and whatnot. Let’s meet these families, shall we?

First off, let’s look at the 2D family.

Patriarch: Street Fighter

As the originator of the genre, it makes sense that Street Fighter is the ‘father figure’ of this household. He’s been around for ages and gets along well with everyone, not just his family. He has worked with Marvel, Tatsunoko and even with the 3D family’s patriarch in Tekken. Just don’t be shocked that you might hear a ‘when I was your age’ story from him though.

Brothers: King of Fighters and Mortal Kombat

As the two main rivals to Street Fighter, they are his brothers… but they are different in how they act.

King of Fighters is jealous of how cool and awesome Street Fighter is despite working with him in the past. He could never get past the stigma of being second best, so he sits and plots to take the throne one day. He does get along with the others, but he doesn’t really give much of a care about them… it’s dad that has his full attention and anger.

Mortal Kombat, on the other hand, loves being a show off and a total goof. Everyone loves his antics. Whether it’s watching a head get knocked off, a person getting split in half or seeing body parts thrown every which way, Mortal Kombat is the life of the party. He loves his dad a lot and his antics tend to get under the skin of the children (namely Guilty Gear and Blazblue), but they like him no matter what. He has also worked with a comic book company in DC Comics, but he doesn’t like talking about it… he doesn’t like being told to not have fun.

Children: Gulity Gear, Blazblue, Killer Instinct and Super Smash Brothers

As in any family, there are children. Here, they’re all adopted!

Guilty Gear is 100% pure punk rock. He loves his hard rock music (So much that ol’ daddy Street Fighter has to constantly tell him to turn down that damn racket!). He adores his weirdness and doesn’t mind being the way he is. He gets along best with his younger brother Blazblue.

Speaking of which, Blazblue is the brightest of the bunch. Keen to the world around him, he always looks for information. The more info he can gather, the better. It makes him the smartest guy in the room, even though Mortal Kombat tends to pick on him by calling him a ‘bummer’ because he’s so smart.

Killer Instinct is the hipster of the bunch. He likes being in the most trendy looks and is never seen without a rocking fedora on. He gets along great with Mortal Kombat, but KI felt a need to separate from his cousin’s shadow…to which MK was fine with (MK never did like the clones… they were jerks, for the most part. Especially BloodStorm. He was an absolute dickhead).

Super Smash Brothers is the ‘special’ child. Everyone picks on him because he’s different and he’s not a true fighting game. But, daddy Street Fighter took him in under his wing and has loved him just as much as the others. Smash loves being happy and being treated like everyone else in the family. It does get a few sneers from Guilty Gear’s direction, but both Blazblue and Killer Instinct understand his pain: They were once considered to be ‘different’ as well.

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Now, the 3D family. They’re a little smaller, but just as likable.

Patriarch: Tekken

Daddy Tekken has been the head of the 3D family for a long time and he relishes the role of being the head of the family. He does butt heads with Virtua Fighter, but because VF tends to be a bit sloppy in the social department.

Brothers: Virtua Fighter and Soul Calibur

Virtua Fighter is a genius, bar none. It’s been said that he has a 185 IQ… but with all that intelligence comes a severe lack of social skills. That leads into a few moments with Tekken, but his brother Soul Calibur helps him out when needed.

Soul Calibur is very close to Tekken, and some say maybe a little too close. Never bothered him though, largely because they were rumors.

Children: Dead or Alive

The lone daughter on either side, to say that Dead or Alive is a slut would be a total understatement. Tekken fears that she’ll get some game breaking bug from sleeping around with lesser fighters out there. DoA prides herself on her smoking hot body being able to work that ‘milkshake’ of hers (which she can teach, but she’ll have to charge for it). Her last partner was Samurai Shodown… afterwards, it’s been said that SamSho was lying in the streets half drunk… apparently he needed the drinks to get the taste of foul smelling ‘gina meat out of his mouth.

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So ends the story of the Fighting Genre Families. They sure love each other, don’t they?

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